‘Desi Rascals’ review – All you need is love (oh, yeah?!?) week 4…

February 16 2015

Weekly reality TV series puts spotlight on mixed relationships…are they the future or no go, asks our reviewer aloud…

BY Chayya Syal (@C_Syal)

THIS week’s episodes of “Desi Rascals” held lots of promise but ended up feeling lacklustre and lukewarm.

It was hit-and-miss, with many of the stories feeling disjointed and the character dynamics looking out of place and contrived (Rish and Raj).

This disappointed me, because last week “Desi Rascals” was hitting all the right notes by exploring different generations’ attitudes to love and marriage.

In Week 4, the show undid all of its hard work and sincerity by sidelining a ‘realistic’ image of British Asian communities with a wannabe ‘Made in Chelsea-esque’ dinner.

This sharp contrast of scenes was jarring and felt like the cast was being split into two distinct groups: the ‘normal’ British Asians, whom the vast majority of viewers are actually interested in and the wannabe celebrity British Asians who left many viewers feeling confused.

It began to question the whole purpose of “Desi Rascals” – is it a show that aims to produce an ‘accurate’ portrayal of British Asians in the UK today or is it trying to rub shoulders with the likes of “Made in Chelsea”, “TOWIE” and “Geordie Shore”? Either way, it has to either find a balance between the two or make its mind up.

In Episode 6, we saw Owais simultaneously patch up with Yasmin and dramatically burn bridges with Rita in a showdown to end all showdowns.

Following the advice of his mother, Ansa in Episode 5, he also went on a couple of dates! So far so good, until he pretty much sabotaged them by talking about other women instead of focusing on Sidra or Feryal.

Shreena and Prakash unveiled their plans to move out of the Vara household only to be met with the ominous words of: “You won’t be coming back” from mother-in-law Anita. Brrr! It’s suddenly gotten very cold in here!

In other developments, Sunjay and Charlotte eventually kissed and made up on a romantic date night in a makeshift drive in cinema surrounded by candles. In the Vara garage – it’s the little things that count!

Uncle Nuss was immortalised on the PMG’s wall of fame in a Herculean mural. It brought tears to his eyes as he recalled his younger days, where the gym was one of the only places where people of all ethnic backgrounds would be in harmony with each other. I wish we’d heard more about Uncle Nuss’ story because, so far, he’s been an enigmatic character (interesting, but lots of gaps).

MoJo’s relationship reached new heights, as Jo met the Baig family in what was probably one of the most awkward meet-the-family-moments I’ve ever seen. Aneesa, Moses’ and Anj’s mother was visibly unimpressed with Jo’s attire even though she liked Jo and said that she was a ‘good girl’. Aneesa: those eyes tell a very different story!

There was trouble in paradise as Manoj and Jo had a heart-to-heart about the reality of her having a relationship with Moses and the wide culture gaps between both families. She even admitted to feeling out of place when Moses and his family shared private jokes in Punjabi.

It was a wake-up call for MoJo which saw a crack appear in their rose tinted glasses and one which struck a chord with me. Many British Asians – including myself and the characters on the show– joke that when we get married, we don’t just marry the love of our life. We marry their families, warts and all.

As much as British Asians like to say that they are ‘liberal’ and ‘tolerant’ of interfaith and interracial relationships, I’ve seen and heard enough stories that easily dismiss these claims. It ‘s important to highlight the distinct difference between being ‘tolerant’ and simply ‘accepting’ something.

The word “tolerate” indicates that an individual puts up with something which goes against their belief systems because they have no choice. To “accept” something means that an individual wholeheartedly embraces the good, the bad and the ugly of a situation regardless of their belief systems.

A prime example has been the number of anti interfaith marriage protests which take place outside some Gurudwaras in the UK. Here random people, with no connection to the bride or groom, receive tip offs about non-Sikhs marrying Sikhs in a Gurudwara and take it upon themselves to protest against the wedding. This sometimes results in weddings being called off and Gurudwaras openly refusing to conduct weddings between Sikhs and non-Sikhs.

It is surreal to know that this sort of behaviour is happening and often occurs without mass condemnation. It is even more surreal when one finds out that the protestors are young British Asians and not the older generation. Their rationale for disrupting the weddings is that interfaith marriages “dilute” their culture and religion.

Culture and identity do not dilute. Neither are they fixed entities which are as unmovable as mountains. There is a reason why so many backward practices eventually die out – such as sati- because they have no place in the modern world and simply do not make sense.

Like water, culture and identity are adaptable to their environment and are in a constant state of flux. The problem arises when many British Asians do not realise this and insist on practising the ideals of their great-grandparents because they mistakenly believe that this is ‘preserving’ their culture and identity.

This begs the question of interfaith and interracial relationships in British Asian communities. Can they work? In short: yes but with a lot of compromises and hard work from both sides.

Many of us believe that the antediluvian attitude of parents disowning their children if they marry out is a thing of the past.

Unfortunately, it is not, and there are many second generation British Asians who say that they would disown – and even kill – their child if they were gay, married out of their religion and/or ethnic group.

In “Desi Rascals” there are currently three interracial and interfaith relationships: Manoj and Celia, Moses and Jo, Sunjay and Charlotte. It is obvious that, although Manoj and Celia fell in love and married in a time when interracial relationships were frowned upon, they have embraced their differences and are a united couple.

Contrast that with Sunjay and Charlotte who, last week, threw an irate strop at Sunjay for not defending her against the spiteful comments made by a group of Asian girls about their relationship.

There is far more tension in the younger generation’s interfaith and interracial relationships than Manoj’s and Celia’s. Of course, a multitude of factors play a part into how relationships work, but it is an interesting comparison to watch as the series unfolds.

*’Desi Rascals’ continues on Sky Living, with new episodes every Tuesday and Friday at 8pm.

*Chayya Syal’s column on the show appears every week before the airing of the Tuesday episode, follow her and @asianculturevul to follow every week…. If you want to comment please go to our FACEBOOK page