Asian men – what’s the problem? Being a Man festival…

November 26 2015

As men in the public eye examine masculinity and other issues at a major festival and a special panel looks at what it means to be Asian, we talk to one of the participants…

BEING a man is a tough business – from myriad pressures of career, relationships, and possibly, child rearing too, it’s probably never been harder.

Being an Asian man comes with a level of further complications, usually connected to culture, religion and family expectations.

On Saturday (November 28) as part of the three-day ‘Being A Man Festival’ at the Southbank Centre in London, the perhaps unique and different pressures Asian men face comes centre stage and into concentrated focus.

Four men will lead a discussion on ‘British Asian Men’. The debate will be moderated by Nihal (pictured above inset in picture), BBC Asian Network Radio and TV presenter, and they will examine the issues that most trouble them.

Sanjay Sood-Smith

The four are Sandeep Virdee (pictured above top left) , artistic director of the Darbar Festival, the country’s largest celebration of Indian classical music, Shane Solanki (above bottom right), spoken word poet and music performer and producer; Asif Quraishi (above bottom left), LGBTI campaigner and drag queen, who also happens to be Muslim; and Sanjay Sood-Smith (above top right and right), former contestant of the TV show “The Apprentice”.

Sood-Smith reached the last six of “The Apprentice” last year and before that enjoyed a high-flying career with Lloyds Banking Group. He has now left banking and has created a food brand, Tuk In, with a friend and a business partner.

If that wasn’t enough, he also campaigns on issues of diversity and inclusion and his career in banking leaves him well placed to talk about what’s it like being gay, ambitious and having to deal with the corporate world.

He also offers great insights into what it’s like being between two cultures – the dominant white British one and a minority ethnic one. He has a British Dad and a Mum who is of Indian origin but left Kenya to come to London when she was 19.

Sood-Smith told www.asianculturevulture.com: “I am mixed race and the Indian side was a strong part of my upbringing. I am very close to my mum’s side of the family. We celebrated Diwali and Christmas. When I was growing up I went to a lot of Indian events.”

He values his Asian identity and is proud of it but sometimes has to battle other people’s perceptions and has to confront those who make him feel invisible.

“I’ve gone mad at so many people at so many times in my life, using the phrase ‘half-caste’ – just because you’re not fully one thing or the other, like you are half a person.”

And of course both communities can be at fault.

“I have experienced indirect racism from both Asian and English communities. When people meet me often one of the things people from the Asian community say is, ‘you don’t look very Asian’, even though my name is Sanjay.”

He said not everyone appreciates his name originates from a different culture and heritage.

“Some people don’t realise. They think I had hippy parents or something – or that they just chose to give me that name because they are a bit odd. They don’t realise it comes from my background and chuck into the melting pot being gay as well…it becomes quite interesting.”

His experience wasn’t a bad one; he came out when he was 17 to close family and relations.

“The English side of my family found it more difficult than the Asian – with my mum being quite liberal, she was quite cool about it.”

Appreciating someone’s identity and culture is important, but not just at an everyday society level, where intolerance and ignorance can often breed suspicion and fear.

Sanjay Sood-Smith in 'The Apprentice'

In the workplace too, it can determine career progression and your expectations.

Sood-Smith, 28, remembers getting onto the graduate programme at Lloyds after finishing his Maths degree at the University of Manchester and being slightly worried.

It was only after he worked for a senior manager who happened to be gay (and not secretive about it) that the issue became clearer for him.

“I needed a role model and having a gay boss and the idea that being gay didn’t have to affect your career prospects was important. It meant I didn’t have to get out (of banking), I thrived.”

At one point he was looking after 14 branches in West London, and he reckoned that almost half of the staff was from an ethnic minority background. He understood the culture.

“It enabled me to understand those people, and really relate to them. I understood the cultural elements and was able to relate to them on a personal level.

“If you better understand people, the more you will get out of them and the more you can support them.

“Cultural awareness and understanding all types of cultures is really important.

“We live in such a multicultural society now and there are nuances around what’s important in different cultures and being able to understand that I think will help people understand one another.”

Identity and cultural awareness seep into that debate about what it is to be a man – and without appreciating the complex forces at work in its construction, we can’t begin to make proper sense of the world around us and challenge prejudice or ignorance.

Roll on ‘British Asian Men’….and ‘Being A Man Festival’.

Main picture top: Hardip Singh Kohli at Being A Man Festival 2014

Listing
• ‘British Asian Men’
South Asian men discuss masculinity and dealing with life’s big issues, Saturday, 2pm-3pm, Weston Roof Pavilion at Royal Festival Hall, Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, London SE1 8XX

Being A Man Festival from Friday (November 27) to Sunday (November 29) check full listings, programme, all ticket details here – http://www.southbankcentre.co.uk/whatson/festivals-series/being-a-man