‘Desi Rascals’ Week 5 – review, what’s love got to do with it…?

February 24 2015

Reality TV programme continues to probe areas often neglected or completely missed by many other media…

By Chayya Syal

THE PENULTIMATE week of “Desi Rascals” got off to a smooth start which pulled on the heartstrings of its viewers by continuing to explore the relationship between its younger and older characters.

Both episodes probed loaded themes such as interfaith relationships, issues of trust between friends, ideas of independence and finding love after divorce.

It made for emotional viewing and I found myself becoming even more engaged with the storylines and characters. I was particularly moved by Amita’s touching story, her dreams and aspirations for herself and her son.

I wish that she had been featured in more episodes because Amita represents a portion of single parents in Asian communities whose experiences are not openly discussed. As someone who was raised by a single parent (my father), I could really relate to the pain she felt, as I have grown up seeing that in my own household.

Love was well and truly in the air, as many members of the cast wined and dined their other halves for Valentine’s Day.
We saw Manoj secretly plan out one of the most adorable surprises for his wife Celia – he even learned how to waltz and do a booty drop (work it Manoj!)

Owais took Feryal out on her first ever Valentine’s date and taught her how to use chopsticks (FYI: there’s no left and right when using chopsticks!) Shreena cooked Prakash a chicken biryani from scratch as they enjoyed a candlelit dinner for two in their flat.

The funniest, but ever so awkward, moment in Tuesday’s episode (17th February) was seeing Sunjay casually gate crash his parents’ romantic dinner date.

Moses upped his game and treated Jo to an intimate dinner on a boat overlooking the Thames followed by a walk along the Embankment. Here he outlined his intentions for their relationship and that he wanted to prove that he was a serious man who could look after Jo to Manoj.

Despite this, tensions had begun to brew in many of the characters’ lives.

At Namaste Lounge, we saw a rather strained Arshina, Yasmin and Kavita frostily greet Rita as she went over to their table (frenemies much!?)

Shreena’s and Anita’s relationship continued to be under strain as she announced that they were off to a house viewing in Croydon, despite the Varas wanting them to stay in Hounslow.

After a heated argument, Owais and Rita’s friendship looked far from cordial as the cast attended Shmoyel’s art exhibition following her gym session with Anj. He was visibly unimpressed when he saw Rita speaking to Feryal about Owais and their friendship. When Owais confronted Feryal about it, things got strained and it looked like any hopes of love with Feryal had been dashed.

I felt bad because I don’t think that Owais is as bad as he being made out to be. He has a very warm manner and his way of saying things as they are is what appears to be disgruntling many of the female characters. We can only keep our fingers crossed and hope that love does come his way!

There was trouble in paradise for Moses and Jo, as Aneesa was unhappy at Manoj’s comments about Moses being “immature” and not being “serious”.

Amita with Arshina in the chair

The day after Jo’s date, Manoj and Celia agreed that Moses was not the right boy for Jo, which triggered an emotional response from her. I was impressed at the calm and level headed way the Shah family handled this. There were no dramatic fits of anger, slammed doors or threats of: “I’ll disown you!” which we would normally expect from both parties involved. I only wish that more families took this measured approach when dealing with such issues.

It made me think about the expectations that we, our parents and families have when it comes to finding a partner. Throughout series one of “Desi Rascals” we have been faced with a plethora issues which largely centre on the relationships that we have with ourselves, our friends and loved ones.

Moses and Jo face the task of wanting to be together but not wanting to cause tensions or upset in their own families. This is a familiar story that many of us have grown up either personally experiencing or seeing happen. It’s one thing to follow your heart and declare: ‘Love conquers all’, but another to face the possibility of making a decision that could hurt your parents.

The first people that we love is our parents and in Asian cultures, there is a large emphasis on the importance of your family and keeping them happy; often at the risk of being unhappy as members of an older generation might have had to do.

These days, we have far more choices and options with regards to how we choose to live our lives; we can travel if we want to, we can educate ourselves as much as we want to. When it comes to matters of the heart, things aren’t as simple.

There are many factors that British Asians tend to face when it comes to announcing a relationship or a love interest to our families.

There’s the immediate Manoj-question of your love interest having “prospects” and if you plan on getting married soon. With so much pressure, it’s not a surprise that so many British Asians choose to lead a double life and keep their relationships a secret for fear of upsetting or shaming their parents. This isn’t really a good idea – especially if it goes sour and you have no one to turn to.

What I have been struck by is the attitude that the cast – in all generations – has towards dating. It is a comfort knowing that there are British Asians who feel comfortable talking about their crush with their parents. This is something that many, including myself, feel reluctant and uncomfortable doing.

Whether it’s out of respect or a topic that is simply not discussed, I’m not sure, but I think we could all do with re-evaluating the reasons why we choose to stay quiet. After all, relationships are central to our lives.

For many of us, at the very core of it, all we want is to be with someone who we’re compatible with and makes us feel safe, happy and loved. And this appears to be something that more Asian families are starting to realise. In the words of my dad: “All I want is to see you safe and happy.”

Top photo: (L-R) Anj Baig, Moses Baig and Prakash Vara

*’Desi Rascals’ continues on Sky Living, with new episodes every Tuesday and Friday at 8pm.

*Chayya Syal’s column on the show appears every week before the airing of the Tuesday episode, follow her and @asianculturevul to follow every week…. If you want to comment please go to our FACEBOOK page